PHAT
by shi-chan
Summary: YAOI GenRai A misunderstanding leads Raidou to avoid Genma, do serious workout and go on a crashdiet. Insecurities are revealed and things will just never be the same again ... right?
1. PHAT 1

BELATED HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! 

I'm not going to say anything about this fic, save for the fact that:

I'm not doing a lemon

This is the first _complete_ Gen/Rai fic I've written, so be nice. Juunin RnR doesn't count as one because it was a threesome …

I got this written ages ago, but never really got around posting it …

Enjoy!

**P.H.A.T**

Raidou was never the type to feel inferior to a fellow colleague. While some may not have liked the folds of burnt skin on his cheek because it somehow gave him the image of a nightmarish-monster-that-stalked-kids-when-they-sleep, others found it rather charming, like some sort of stand out feature. Hey, some had moles on their faces the size of a pachinko ball, so what's wrong with burnt skin? Bottom line, the scar was not really much of a bother to anyone; especially in a village of shinobis. He wasn't bad looking at all – short brown hair that spiked naturally with his forehead protector on, dark eyes, tall, a good built and had that intriguing serious aura radiating about him. Raidou was cool about everything. He didn't mind if the female race of the village got all giggly with the stuff they get giggly on nor did he mind the curious little ninjas that aimed to be the best in the village. He didn't mind his nosy/loud/smoking/dramatic fellow colleagues because he was a firm believer of a person having character – be it extravagant or perverted. His own character was labeled as 'cool and serious' by some that he knew and truth be told, Raidou sort of liked it.

Raidou liked many things. For example, he happened to like iguanas. He actually owned one as a child before it died horrendously by falling in to a bucket of hot water that he prepared with some herbal oils to soak his aching feet after a mission. The poor thing was left all limp and floating amidst steamy water surface and Raidou still blamed himself for leaving that bucket beside his table where Iggy-chan was prancing about. He was a beautiful iguana that was about six to seven inches long. Raidou loved him to bits and then it fell in to the bucket. He mourned Iggy-chan's death and buried him in the yard of his parents' house. To this day, he still missed his dead pet.

Raidou liked watching the moon and he was aware of the fact that a person like him and moon watching just didn't really go hand in hand (in the mind of others at least). But yes, he loved watching the moon. He adored its soft white light that can sometimes cast a violet or blue sheen on a cool winter night. He could stay up all night, just watching and thinking of nothing important and still call it a good night. He wasn't very hard to please. Raidou liked small and humble things and actions – an invitation to tea or coffee, a good conversation that didn't involve missions, studying new techniques or arts, reading a good book, helping over-worked shinobis (candidates usually were either Iruka, Kotetsu or Izumo) and of course, most of all, being in the companionship of his colleague and best friend, Shiranui Genma.

Raidou and Genma have been friends before they even joined the Ninja Academy. It all started with the pet iguana. When Raidou was about six years old, the year he bought Iggy-chan, he met – well, found – Genma poking at something in a grassy moor next to a lake somewhere in the outskirts of the village. Raidou had spent the day letting Iggy-chan sit on a tree and get in touch with nature for a bit and was on his way home when he spotted Genma. On normal occasions, he wouldn't have really cared if the skinny brat down the lake were a lunatic who liked to poke at soil with a twig. But it had been the fifth day he's seen the same kid poke at the same soil and curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Why are you poking the earth?" Raidou asked, blinking large black eyes at Genma.

"Because I heard that this was a good place to get tarantulas." Genma answered.

"Tarantulas are boring." Raidou said, and took out Iggy-chan from his small belt bag and held it out to Genma. "I've got an iguana. Wanna see?"

They hit it off from that point. Genma had been so excited about the iguana that they began to meet every day by the lake to watch Iggy-chan move in nature and react to the surroundings. Little meetings turned in to sharing of lunch boxes and books when they joined the Academy and soon they were spending their times together, all the way to the war efforts and fights to the paperwork they shared to the current day.

So Raidou liked many things. He also had many hobbies like fishing and helping out at the local pet store during his free time because the old man who runs it was suffering from Parkinson's disease and couldn't handle the pets properly. He was particularly fond of the lovely glass case filled with crawfish because they were just adorable when they were going for each other's pincers. Raidou also loved to eat. He loved all foods and found cooking as an art that needed to be in utmost perfection to achieve that perfect taste and savory feeling. He had an appetite of three men and adored everything from rice cakes to grilled salmons and stuffed turkeys. Raidou was a firm believer that food had the power of healing the mind and body if one ate the right things, so even if he actually loved eating ice cream and sweet, sweet dumplings, he held back because he liked to stay healthy. Once in a while, he'd indulge himself in such delicacies and that was usually when he was done with paperwork (which was a rare thing since he's an active Jounin).

It was on an autumn afternoon when he was just heading for the administrative office to tackle some paperwork when he overheard a conversation between Genma, Kakashi, Gai and apparently Asuma. They were laughing and talking happily about the 'beautiful race of Konoha'. Raidou heard Jiraiya's name and few replies of 'no comment' coming from all. Just before he entered, he heard his name.

"What about Raidou?" Asuma's voice.

"Raidou?" Genma's questioning tone.

"Raidou is too serious." Kakashi's answer.

"Raidou is PHAT." Genma said, sounding cool, nonchalant and completely normal.

Raidou merely blanched, taking a few steps away from the door and looking at himself. _Genma thinks I'm fat? I'm FAT?_ Genma's answer seemed to have triggered a series of hoots and whistles. _He thinks I'm FAT?_

Another thing about Raidou was that he was a very sensitive man behind the entire 'cool and serious' look. He takes insults personally and hence wasn't a very good person to throw jokes at. While this may have been a slight disadvantage to his social life, it proved to be a very good advantage when it came to giving support to those in need – be it on the field or outside the field because he was one of the _most_ sensitive men in the entire village.

_Seriously? I'm fat? But – But I'm NOT!_

Raidou could not stop the hurt from crawling in to his chest, so he did the next best thing. He headed for the mission room to ask for a mission instead of continuing paperwork with Genma.

XXX

Raidou handed in his C-rank mission report, approximately seven hours later. He was tired, he was sleepy and he really wanted to get something to eat. At the thought of food, Raidou quickly and automatically kicked the idea of eating away. He was _not_ thinking of warm soup and sweet and sour shrimp sticks. He was _not _thinking of having that lovely orange sherbet that bar next to the diners that served those _fattening _shrimp sticks made. He was _not_ thinking of that carton of ice cream stashed at the back of his freezer for tired nights like these, because that flavor happened to be strawberry double cheesecake and strawberry double cheesecake was _fattening_.

Raidou's stomach growled.

Loud.

"Oh man." Raidou winced, rubbing his empty stomach, trying to ease the hunger. Last thing he had was a sausage roll during breakfast. He actually did manage to eat a donut somewhere between paper work break and hearing Genma calling him fat. But really, how is a donut and a sausage roll supposed to keep an active Jounin like him functioning properly through out the day?

Raidou's stomach growled. Again.

Hands pressed against the food-demanding organ harder, rubbing it to offer some sort of soothing effect. Raidou's love for nice and warm food was not helping his current situation because really, his stomach was killing him.

Footsteps and chakra beats came from the end of the hallway. Raidou attempted to look normal, but kept a hand on his stomach, looking casual. It was hard because he was really, really, _really_ hungry. Just his luck that it was Gai who rounded the corner, who also flashed him that good-guy smile of his and approached him. No, Raidou did not mind Gai's dramatic and flashy ways because he liked people with character. They made them more real rather than empty beings who kill for the village's safety. Gai was _only_ laughing with all the others when Genma called him fat. It was nothing really, because it was quite humorous.

_Not._

Raidou was not a happy person and it damn well showed. His brows creased more than normal and there was that glint – yes, _that_ glint – of light shining on the surface of his dark eyes, giving him the look that basically made his enemies scram for life. He really had nothing against Gai and on normal days, he wouldn't have minded the good-guy smile and pose. But as it was, the day was not really _normal_ on Raidou's scale. Genma called him fat, others laughed, he was tired from a mission he should have never taken in the first place, he was _starving_ and damnit, he only ate one sausage roll and one donut for the whole day and it was already nine the evening.

"Raidou! I'm glad I've spotted you for I wish to tell you that Genma has been looking for you since this afternoon." Gai flashed that ridiculous shiny-teeth smile of his. Raidou didn't really blame the vein that throbbed on his temple. No, it wasn't really Gai's fault. That was _his_ character and Raidou reminded himself that he _liked_ people _with_ character.

_Just as long as they don't laugh when people call me fat. He laughed!_ Raidou's mind spat.

"Where is he?" Raidou _managed_ to say diplomatically. It won't do well for Raidou to blow steam off at Gai. If there was a person he wanted to blow steam at, it would be one bandana-wearing man. When the thought crossed Raidou's mind, only then did it occur to him that he was acting _completely_ irrational and unfair towards his best friend. Who knows? Maybe he really needs to loose a few pounds? At the thought, Raidou began to grit his teeth and it damn well showed because Gai blinked and took a very _uncharacteristic_ step back.

"Last time I saw him, he was in the office lounge. He might still be there." Gai said, shrugging and giving off a short laugh. "Go see him. It sounded rather important. I shall be going! Good night, my fellow comrade!" A poof later and Gai was gone.

Raidou made a face and stomped towards the office lounge and found Asuma slouching on one chair, an arm draped on one armrest, smoking what had to be his fourth packet of cigarettes for the day. Again, Raidou did not mind Asuma's love for cigarettes because that built his image and truth be told, it was not bad at all. Raidou wasn't sour at Asuma or anything like that because the man didn't do anything to him. He _only_ laughed, just like Gai, when Genma called him fat. It was something small and completely irrelevant. If Asuma did something like – oh, say stab Raidou in the back with a kunai for no reason or betrayed him and sold him out to some evil organization – then Raidou would be really, really, really pissed. But Asuma only _laughed. _It was no big deal.

Raidou growled at the sight of Asuma.

"Where's Genma? Gai said he was here." Raidou said, sounding slightly nice and his normal self, but the glint – yes, _that_ glint – was now flashing _so_ intensely that the cigarette in between Asuma's lips nearly fell.

Asuma coughed a bit. "He was here. He left an hour ago to get something to eat because he was so hungry."

Raidou threw a mental tantrum. _Genma was eating? Genma was eating while he was starving? Eating? That selfish, unfeeling, cruel, calling-people-fat son of a – AUGH!_

"I see. Fine." Raidou turned around, shoved his hands in to his pockets and headed for the door. "Good night."

Asuma nodded rather dumbly behind him, about to reply but Raidou was already gone.

Raidou sighed in to the night air once he was outside the building. On the spot, the decision of going on a strict veggie-diet hit him along with the idea of waking up extra early in the morning to get _a lot_ of exercise. Raidou promised himself that he would get fit and trim, so that _nobody_ would _ever_ call him fat again. He'd go for long runs at four AM, maybe circle the village twice or something, then meditate for a few minutes, practice some katas and spar – as in, really, really hardcore type of sparring – with a clone or maybe a tree until the bark falls off or something. He considered lifting weights, but decided that too much muscle would make him look fat and bulky, so he stomped the thought of lifting weights immediately. He'd eat less, practice more patience with his appetite and stop having those energy drinks and sweet bars he adored. It was a great sacrifice, but as long as he'd never be called fat again, Raidou would gladly pay the price. First, he had to get himself a supply of multi-vitamins and some veggies.

Nodding to himself, Raidou headed for local pharmacy before going off to buy some vegetables.

XXX

Raidou woke up the next morning feeling like he was run over by a herd of cows. His abdomen area was clenched so tight from the few hundred (just about six hundred) stomach crunches he did before going to bed. The fact that he only ate a celery stick the other night after a tiring mission also helped with the 'ran over by cows' feeling. Raidou shook his head, determined to get somewhere. He was smoldered by determination to actually loose a few pounds as soon as possible that he ignore that clenching, biting and burning feeling his stomach area made and padded for the bathroom to refresh himself. While washing his face, Raidou realized that his limbs were sore and heavy like lead. But he stubbornly ignored these feelings, telling himself that this was just an excuse to lie down some more along with getting something to eat. _This_, Raidou's mind stressed, _is a feeling of an unfit, fat, and lazy Jounin. _

Raidou grumbled to himself, cursing his stomach for the deserving pampering it demanded and his love for warm and delicious food. He began to curse loudly, nearly stabbing his toothpaste tube to death and ending up squeezing a lot of white sticky fluoride in the process. Raidou slapped the bathroom sink, kicked the toilet seat before grabbing his toothbrush and attempting to strangle it. He realized that he was acting like a man on crack so he counted one to ten and as civilized as he can, began the task of brushing his teeth. Raidou ran wet fingers through his hair and scrubbed at his face with soap and water. He dressed up in training clothes and headed off for his run, stomach still growling.

Raidou was determined to go around the whole village twice. He set a steady pace, all the while ticking off things to do to Genma once he was 'fit'. Just as Raidou passed by the butcher, the thought of kicking Genma on his buttocks crossed his mind. He played with the idea, while running, thinking that perhaps getting his nin-sandal print on those two mounds of flesh can teach Genma a lesson in calling people fat because people have feelings too. When Raidou passed by the burial parlor on the other side of town, he twiddled with the idea of personally strangling Genma. At that, a wicked grin appeared on Raidou's face that people in turn gave him strange looks as he jogged by. Raidou decided that maybe he can figure out new ways to strangle. Knee joints could work if he got Genma in the right angle, along with elbow joints. Toes came to mind, but Raidou shook his head, reminding himself that toes can only be used if he kicked Genma correctly to crush his windpipe. Then of course, there was the classical way of ending it all, _fingers a'la strangle special_.

"That's boring." Raidou mumbled, rounding off another corner and passing by the bakery. The whiff of vanilla and cinnamon baking made him stop for a while to stare at the delicious pastries with syrup and cream fillings. Raidou always had a week knee for blackberry pie and just his luck, the baker came out from the kitchen carrying his day's bake of the said pie. Raidou unconsciously started drooling and wiped the trickle of saliva off his chin with the back of his hand.

_Fattening. Fattening. Blackberry pie equals fattening. Raidou eating blackberry pie equals Raidou putting on more pounds. Putting on more pounds means Raidou is fat and that Genma wins! **Genma must not win!** _

Raidou shook his head, slapped himself once and turned away abruptly, continuing his run. His stomach mourned and begged to have something – anything – from that bakery. Raidou mentally scolded his stomach for being a traitor. If anything, once he's lost a few pounds, he decided to stuff Genma with sweets, either the other man was willing or not. Then, Raidou cackled mentally, he'd call Genma fat at his face.

"Oh I am going to murder you. Just you wait." Raidou began to think of ways to kill Genma with the use of fruit tarts. Poisoning it was one thing, but that was the boring way out. He could shove a chunk down Genma's throat and tickle the living day lights out of him. Raidou got a mental image of Genma tied on a chair, bare feet with a big piece of fruit tart in his mouth while Raidou tickled his feet with a feather. Raidou nodded to himself as he passed by his apartment building an hour later. He decided that the chair-tying-tickle-feet technique was good and that he was going to keep it.

Feeling happy at his train of thoughts, Raidou continued his second lap, practiced katas and beat the hell out of a tree in the forest before heading off for work.

The process repeated for the next three days. While Raidou went through his crash-diet, he also avoided Genma as much as possible. How he managed to pull _that_ off was still a miracle.

XXX

Genma found Raidou slumped on a desk, grumbling to himself after a solo mission. Apparently, Raidou just returned from a mission about an hour ago that required delivering messages to the Fire's Daimyo. Genma grinned and sat himself opposite Raidou.

"Raidou-chan!" Genma teased, since the room was empty. He and Raidou can act like complete babies in front of each other only. To be quite frank, Genma hasn't seen Raidou for almost four days since they last did paperwork together. "I've been looking all over for you."

"I heard." Raidou moaned out, head still down.

Genma tilted his head to one side in curiosity. "Are you avoiding me, Raidou-chan?"

"No." Raidou lied, the answer coming out a muffle because he still kept his head down.

Genma scooted over next to Raidou, poking him in the ribs. In response, Raidou moaned in pain and moved away a bit, head still down. "Raidou?"

"What?" Raidou grumbled.

Genma turned serious. "Look at me, man."

"Why should I?" Raidou asked, coughing a bit then sniffing.

"Did you catch a cold?" Genma blinked, shaking Raidou's shoulder. Raidou shook his head. "Then?"

"I'm just sleepy." Raidou replied. The truth was he was _starving_, his abdomen ached from all the stomach crunches he's been crazily doing and he had one hell of a pounding headache. Genma was right that he caught a cold because he fell asleep on his bed one evening, drenched in sweat after a run and he forgot to close his window. The fact that Genma was now poking his arm that then moved to his shoulder was already irritating the hell out of Raidou. Bad enough his limb feels like it's being hit by a mallet, but Raidou seriously felt that if Genma didn't stop soon, he was going to have to try that chair-tying-tickle-feet technique. "Stop it."

"What?" Genma asked, still poking Raidou's shoulder.

"Stop poking me." Raidou growled.

Genma blinked and stopped briefly. He was just playing around. "Raidou, you've been avoiding me, and this is the first time I've seen you in almost four days. Why can't I poke you?" Genma resumed poking Raidou's shoulder.

"Because I'm going to tie you up on a chair and strangle the living daylights out of you if continue to poke me." Raidou threatened – well, as much as he can sound with his dry throat. He decided that the _fingers a'la strangle special_ was a lot better than the feet tickling. Whoever said that laughing too much can kill you? It's an absolute lie.

Genma sighed and stopped poking. "I checked by the pet store at the market square and I heard you haven't dropped by for a few days." Raidou gave a grunt in response. "Can you please tell me what's bothering you? Are you really avoiding me?"

"Shut up Genma. I have a headache and I'm seriously going to hurt you, if you don't quit." Raidou grumbled again, his head still down.

Genma blinked at stared at Raidou quietly, brows drawing together in a frown. "You really are avoiding me, aren't you?"

"One more word and I'll kick you in the balls."

Genma looked at Raidou before wrapping arms around Raidou's middle and resting his head on Raidou's shoulder. "Sorry." He mumbled. "Look, whatever it is you're mad at me for, I'm sorry. I don't even know what it is, but I'm sorry anyway. I'm going to do go do some scouting routine. I'll treat you to fried noodles and shrimp sticks. The one you really like. I'll wait for you in front of the restaurant." Raidou refused to respond to that. Genma reached up and rubbed Raidou's arms slowly. "Don't be mad at me." Genma whispered. "Please?" Footsteps approached the hallway towards their office. "I'll be waiting tonight." Genma whispered, and ruffled Raidou's hair affectionately before undraping himself off Raidou and leaving the room.

Raidou found himself staring sadly at the fibers of his turtleneck sleeve. Genma was speaking to him in whispers. That means that Genma was sad and hurt by his treatment. Raidou started to feel very bad to what he was doing. He realized that he's been acting completely childish (and noted that this was not the first time he realized that he was indeed acting childish). Genma wasn't a lowly person that he wouldn't understand if Raidou told him about the problem. Maybe Genma was joking around that day. Raidou felt that perhaps it was unfair on Genma's side because Genma was just being the friend that he was. The man had been looking for him everyday and trying to catch him for the past few days. Raidou avoided him like a plague and Genma was someone not easy to avoid especially when Genma was the one doing the hunting – looking.

"He didn't even call me _chan_ anymore." Raidou mumbled, noticing how Genma dropped the chan towards the end of the conversation.

The door slid open and Kakashi walked in to set a folder on one of the tables. "Eh? Raidou? Got dumped or something?" Raidou raised a hand and stuck his middle finger at Kakashi lazily. Kakashi only grinned. "Oh yeah. You're on patrol list today in the north west region."

"Yeah, yeah." Raidou said, waving his raised hand. "Now shut up. I've got a headache."

Kakashi shrugged and left. "See ya'."

Raidou gave out a strange sound before lifting his head up to look around the empty room. He still had about twenty minutes before he should begin security-patrolling. His stomach gave out a loud growl just as he stood up. Sighing and rubbing the aching and begging muscles, Raidou pulled out a celery stick from one of the many pockets of his uniform. On normal occasions, Raidou wouldn't have minded celery for it was healthy and light and did good things to one's body system. But after eating it continuously for a few days, Raidou felt more than imagined like he had a pair of rabbit's ears on his head and a fluffy tail on his buttocks. Raidou never, ever, ever disses food, but now the damn celery stick was mocking him, giving off vibes that if he took one more bite, he'd turn in to the Human Bunny of Doom. The persistent growling of his stomach made Raidou forget about turning in to a rabbit and took a huge bite out of the celery stick. As he continued eating, lead-like feet dragged him to his assigned area for patrolling. It was already an hour before dinner time and Raidou prayed to the heavens that he wouldn't collapse in the middle of his patrolling.

TBC

Let's just say I couldn't stop giggling when I re-read this to check for mistakes – to which I might've missed some.

Review?


	2. PHAT 2

**P.H.A.T 2**

Raidou found himself waking up on his bed, still in his Jounin garb. His hopes of not collapsing during patrolling were ignored by the heavens. He reminded himself that he shouldn't blame fate or the powers above for his weakness because he brought it upon himself. Raidou reminded himself in an I-told-you-so manner about going on the crash diet was a bad idea right from the start and that he should have spoken to Genma himself. He should have been straight forward and confronting from the beginning. If he had done _that_, he wouldn't be in bed, with a headache, feeling like he just swallowed liquefied steel and like his stomach was being pulled out by a race horse. Raidou pointed out that he also didn't smell very pleasant at the moment and that his shirt had some dust particles on it from the soil he must have collapsed on. That and he –

Raidou sneezed.

"Okay." He mumbled, rubbing his nose. "Someone is talking about me." Raidou sat up tiredly, rubbing the back of his head before sneezing again, hard. "Okay, someone is in love with me." Raidou sneezed one more time, this being harder than the first two that it shook him and made his lungs ache. "Or maybe I'm just coming down with something." He moaned and dragged himself to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

He remembered going on patrol with a fellow Chuunin, who flipped and worried like a chicken who just lost its egg when Raidou just swayed and dropped on the ground. Raidou wouldn't be surprised if he was confronted by Genma sooner or later. Which reminded him –

"I was supposed to meet him for dinner." Raidou mumbled, bringing up a soapy hand to rinse his soapy face and shampoo-foamy hair.

Raidou told himself, despite the fact that Genma called him fat, to go apologize to the man. Raidou really had _not _expected to collapse, otherwise he would have gone to Genma himself and told him that he can't make it or _maybe_ order everything off the menu and berate Genma for being an insensitive friend. Sighing like he was rejected in some sort of love affair, Raidou turned the tap off when he was done, wrapped himself tightly in a robe and hurriedly dressed in warm clothes. The last thing he wanted was to get sick, even if it was already the nearing the beginning of winter. He wrapped a gray scarf around his neck, pulled his sleeves to his wrists instead of folding them to his forearm and got ready to start the day. He pulled out a carrot from his fridge and chewed on it while he put on his sandals.

On normal days, Raidou would have gone to the mission tower by the roof tops. But the past few days had not really been normal, so Raidou walked down the street, a bit sad that he didn't do his routine of jogging around the village and beating up that white tree bark in the forest for good muscle stretching. He didn't even do stomach crunches before going to bed. Determined, Raidou vowed to make up for everything later that evening so that he can kick back to his normally-new routine the next day.

Finishing the last of his carrot, Raidou skidded to a halt by the mission tower entrance when he found Iruka exiting. Iruka looked up at him and smiled politely. "Good morning, Raidou-san."

"Good morning." Raidou greeted back.

"I heard what happened to you last night." Iruka said concernedly. Raidou sighed yet again. Looks like the whole village knows. "I hope you're all right."

The shiny-watery eyed look Iruka was giving him now made Raidou unable to get annoyed at the Chuunin. "I'm fine. Stress from missions, you know. I'm free this afternoon because I have morning-desk duty. Need any help in handing out missions?"

Iruka perkily smiled. "Thank you for offering Raidou-san, but Kotetsu and Izumo are going to be with me today to do the reports."

"Ah." Raidou nodded. "The offer still stands." Raidou decided that he'd go to that pet shop and help the old man a bit or something. It's been a long time since he dropped by.

"Thank you Raidou-san." Iruka politely said, dipping his head and preparing to leave with the pile of papers he was carrying. "It's very kind of you."

"I'll see you around." Raidou said, nodding.

"Bye." Iruka smiled and headed off to the direction of the Academy.

Raidou was not expecting the mountain pile of paper he had to do. He didn't feel like he was in the mood to do any of them but duty was duty. No matter how annoyed he was, he could _never_ ignore his duty. That was another great thing about Raidou because he was the example of a good shinobi who put his village's works and safety first. Though he was quickly learning that he had a few insecurities, Raidou still prided his shinobi self.

Glancing at the clock told him it was exactly eight AM. Determined, Raidou sat down, vowing to finish everything in front of him no later than two PM and got to work.

Hours later before _anyone_ could even dump any sort of paper for him to work on, Raidou got up, carried his neat work to the room next door, left it to the assigned shinobi to take care of it and fled. He took note of the fact that Genma had not shown up for his desk-duty. A worried-wart part of his mind told him that Genma probably couldn't stand the sight of him and that Genma probably felt betrayed about him not showing up at the restaurant meeting point. The other pig-balloon-head part of his mind told him that Genma was probably bored and decided he wanted to do missions instead of paperwork.

_And he probably can't stand the sight of you because you look really bad!_

Raidou stopped dead in his tracks, shocked by the thought that crossed his mind. Raidou admitted that he _never_ thought in such a manner, but what if it was true? What if Genma disliked him for his appearance? Calling him fat was one thing. Raidou glanced at his reflection on one of the windows of a hat shop on the street he was walking on. But what if Genma disliked his appearance as well? Raidou never really cared or looked back at the scars on his face after the war casualty years ago, but now that he thought about it, it could be a reason. Genma might have found another friend to hang around with because he was just – he was just –

Raidou suddenly felt unworthy. He _knew_ he shouldn't be _thinking this way_, but he couldn't help it. A wave of depression hit him like a tsunami. Raidou swallowed and shuffled his feet a bit before turning away sadly from his reflection on the window (even when the saleslady inside was already cooing at his handsomeness and blushing) and headed for the pet store.

Upon entry, the old man Yoshi grinned and laughed happily. "Raidou-kun!"

"Ji-san." Raidou greeted back, smiling and closing the glass door.

"It's been a while since you came here. Are you cold?" Yoshi asked, taking note of Raidou's scarf.

"A bit." Raidou looked around. "I miss this place. I got free time in my hands. Can I help?"

Yoshi continued smiling. "I was just about to close the store early because I promised to drop by a friend's house. His daughter just gave birth."

Raidou nodded in understanding. "I can watch the shop for you."

"Bless you, my child." Yoshi said, looking extremely thankful. "I'll be back around late evening. If you have to be somewhere, you can close up. Leave the key to old-lady Mei next door."

"No problem. Go say hello to the kid." Raidou said, ushering Yoshi to the door as the old man walked down the street with his walking-stick, waving. "Take care, Ji-san!" Yoshi lifted a hand in a wave.

Raidou couldn't help but feel giddy about having the pet store to himself. He closed the glass door and decided that he should clean up. He started with emptying the cat litters in their large pen-like cages then went off to polish up the bird cages. He cleaned the fish tanks and crustacean tanks before finally brushing the puppies' cages clean. He didn't have to worry about the newts, iguanas or lizards so he just fed them along with the other animals. Hours later, everything was spitzy clean. Raidou was about to attend to the baby puppies and feed them individually when a young boy walked in to the store, a fishbowl in hand.

"Excuse me?" The boy said.

"Yes?" Raidou asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Where's the old man?" The boy asked, blinking large gray eyes up at Raidou, holding on to his fishbowl.

"He went out for a while. Something I can help you with?" Raidou asked, the fish in the bowl caught his eye. It didn't look well.

"I wanted him to take care of Fish for me." The boy said, sounding a bit sad.

Raidou blinked. Was that a name? "Fish?"

The boy nodded. "Fish is my pet. Mom and dad says I can't take him with me cause' we're being transferred." The boy held the fishbowl up. "Will you take care of Fish for me?"

Raidou felt sorry for the boy and nodded. He knew how hard it was to part with a pet. Raidou has been through that with his Iguana, Iggy-chan. So he can sympathize. "I can take care of him."

The boy beamed. "He likes those pink colored fish food. Don't give him the yellow ones because he hates them. Please don't flush him down the toilet." The boy said, the last sentence was in a begging sort of tone. "He's not well. I-If he dies, please bury him." The kid looks like he was going to burst in to tears. "I dropped him on the floor by accident when I was running. He sloshed out of the bowl. I – I – He – He fell on his eye." The kid sobbed, large tear drops trickling down his eyes.

_Ah, that's why._ Raidou looked at Fish and saw how one eye was slightly grayer than the other. Raidou felt pity for it beyond belief and decided to find a vet that can heal it with ninjutsu or something. "I will take care of him. Don't worry." And he'd _never_ flush any sort of pet down the toilet. That was cruel, inhumane and completely unethical. Animals had feelings! They were not – not – not toys! Raidou would have _never_ flushed Iggy-chan down the toilet. In fact, he wouldn't even dare think of flushing any fish or any animal small enough down the toilet. It was horrible!

"Thank you so much." The boy said. "I trust you Jounin-san. I'll – I'll try to visit Fish as much as I can. Please take care of him."

"I will." Raidou nodded, placing the bowl on the counter and tapping the glass as an affectionate gesture at Fish. A voice calling outside signified that the boy's mother was waiting by their cart. "Take care, kid."

"Thank you." The boy said, bowing. He rubbed the glass of the fishbowl and sniffed a bit. "Goodbye Fish. Jounin-san will take care of you now. Be good okay? I'll miss you so much." The boy wiped his tears and stepped back. "Bye, Jounin-san."

Raidou nodded, ushered the boy out and watched as he cried quietly at the back of their family cart, as it disappeared down the street. Raidou headed back in, sprinkled pink fish food for Fish before taking out one of the puppies in the cage and feeding it with a milk bottle. He sat on a stool behind the counter, keeping an eye on the puppy he was holding, whispering little things to the two week old puppy and occasionally flicking glances at Fish. Minutes later, Fish was just swimming around the fishbowl.

"Good puppy." Raidou whispered, rubbing the head of the puppy in his arm with a thumb. "I'm going to go get your brothers and sisters to feed them." He gently placed the puppy in the cage and took out another one, repeating the feeding the process to all the other baby ones.

Raidou was so engrossed with the baby Husky in his arm that he didn't sense the customer up until the door jingled. Raidou turned and found Genma, and nearly dropped the baby puppy in his arm.

"Raidou." Genma said, his smile looking completely _fake._

"Genma." Raidou replied, voice dying to a whisper. Raidou shifted the puppy in his arm and continued feeding it until the milk bottle was empty. "You want a pet?"

"I heard you collapsed last night during your patrol." Genma said. Raidou stiffened in reply. "You don't look well, you're ignoring everyone and that dango store on your block says you've been jogging at four in the morning." Raidou got up, placed the empty milk bottle on the counter and returned the puppy to its cage. "I'm getting worried. What's going on? And why are you ignoring me?" Genma said, the smile completely gone.

Raidou felt guilty. So he did the one thing he could in situations which he didn't like. "This is Fish. My new pet. The owner left him with me. I think he's half blind. Do you know a vet who's good at chakra healing?"

Genma gritted his teeth. "Stop changing the subject. And why the hell is that fish called Fish?"

Raidou shrugged. "He's a good fish, right Fish?" Raidou tapped the fishbowl twice. He then got up and started clearing the store to close. Just as Raidou pulled off his apron, Genma placed gentle hands on his shoulders.

"Talk to me. Please?" Genma asked, honey eyes looking at Raidou pleadingly. "You look so ill, and pale. I don't think you've been eating well. I'm getting worried. Will you please tell me what's going on?"

_Confront him. He's been a good friend. Tell him what's going on!_

"Nothing is wrong." Raidou shrugged, moving away to hang the apron on the hamper and taking the shop keys out of the drawer behind the counter. Raidou scooped Fish's fishbowl in his arms and headed for the door, Genma following suit.

"Liar."

"I'm on a diet." Raidou grumbled as he locked the door of the store. There! He said it and it wasn't a lie. He just forgot to say the 'crash' part.

"You're what?" Genma blinked.

"I'm not saying it again." Raidou hissed, holding the fishbowl securely, handed the keys to old-lady Mei next door and began to walk home.

"Why?" Genma asked, shocked, somewhat angered and in a weird way laughing.

"Why what?" Raidou asked, nearing his home.

"Why are you on a diet? Wait, how long have you been on this diet?" Genma asked, narrowing his eyes as all the pieces fell in to place. Genma got an idea of why Raidou collapsed and he looked _pissed_. "Why are you on a diet?" Genma persisted.

Raidou didn't answer and proceeded to remove his sandals and flak jacket. "Tea?"

"Raidou!" Genma growled.

"What?" Raidou glared at him. So far, he realized that he cared to what Genma thought of him. Raidou knew he was pushing the wrong buttons, but he just didn't want to think about it - yet.

"I asked you a question." Genma's voice was now very quiet and flat. Raidou knew he was on dangerous grounds now and that he might even receive a nice punch from Genma because a _pissed_ Genma is very _bad_. Naturally, Raidou and his pride made him look directly at Genma. "Raidou. This isn't just about loosing weight, is it?"

Raidou knew he must look like an open book. "How the hell would you know?" He glared at Genma.

"I've known you ever since you were kids. You're mad at me! And I don't know why!" Genma said, taking quick steps forward and wrapping his arms around his best friend, head pillowing on Raidou's shoulder.

Raidou found himself relaxing in Genma's hold, warmth of the slightly taller man giving him the tingles. Raidou got this feeling more than once before, but never really thought about it. Now that he did, he didn't mind the idea that he liked Genma in more than one way. Genma had a good character, was fun, nice, funny and all the good things – save for the fact that Genma called him fat. Still, Raidou found himself sad and finally confronting.

"You called me fat." Raidou mumbled in a hurt way. Genma blinked slowly at that and pulled away, holding Raidou at an arm's length to just _stare_ at him. "You called me fat in front of Kakashi, Asuma and Gai, and you were all _laughing_."

Genma blinked, slowly. "When was this?"

"A few days ago. Almost a week. I've been mad at you ever since. I mean – how could you?" Raidou asked, a bit betrayed. To any other person, he'd look like the perfect drama queen, but to Genma, he just looked so, so hurt. "And in front of them? You could've just told me and I would have done something about it. But telling others and laughing at me too? I thought you had better character than that." Raidou brought a hand up to his face, rubbing the scars unintentionally. Raidou usually did this when he was insecure and now was the best time.

Genma couldn't stop the grin and chuckle from escaping his lips. "Raidou, I didn't call you fat."

"Now you're denying it?" Raidou glared, knocking Genma's hands off his shoulders.

"No, no. Listen to me." Genma shook his head. "I didn't call you fat, as in fat. I said PHAT."

Raidou took a step back and shook his head. "I'm going to change Fish's water!"

Genma chased Raidou just as he was about to pick up the fishbowl and tackled him to the ground. They struggled as expletives came flying out of Raidou's mouth. Raidou tried his best to shove Genma off him but because he hasn't eaten properly for a few days, it was hard to. Genma did manage to eventually pin Raidou to the ground, straddling his thigh region to prevent any future kicks and holding Raidou's hands beside his head.

"No, no. Not fat as in bloated, big, tummy fat. I meant PHAT." Genma stressed.

"You unfeeling freak! It's the same thing!" Raidou hissed, struggling once more but Genma tightened his grip on Raidou's wrist. Raidou wanted to yell at him because it was hurting but dared _not_ to.

"It's P-H-A-T. Not F-A-T. Get the difference now?" Genma asked, looking genuinely happy pinning Raidou down and clarifying the whole mess with his spelling.

"What in fuck's name is PHAT supposed to be?" Raidou snapped, now angry.

Genma smiled in that lady-killer sort of way. "Pretty, Hot and –" He leaned forward and stopped right beside Raidou's ear, his lips brushing it. "Tempting." Raidou looked positively stunned at the gesture and the meaning of the acronyms that he was silent and not breathing. Genma moved back, eyes a bit hazy due to the reaction that it was almost sad, but he smiled nevertheless. "Let me get you something to eat. Anything you want."

Raidou didn't even hear him. "You think I'm pretty?"

Genma blinked but nodded. "Yes."

"Hot?" Raidou swallowed.

"Yes."

This time, Raidou looked up to stare at Genma right at the eye. "Tempting?"

Genma nodded, sure of himself. "Yes."

There was a long silence before Raidou sad, "Why?"

Genma stared down, releasing his hold on Raidou's wrist and gently touched the other man's temple, tracing the scars. "I like you. I just do." Raidou officially looked like Fish in his little fishbowl. "Come on." Genma got up and pulled Raidou to his feet. "Let me get you something to eat. Forget the diet okay? Just be yourself."

Raidou could only nod in stunned silence as he allowed Genma to drag him to the restaurant in the market food street.

XXX

Genma was one happy Jounin. He got his best friend to be normal again, he clarified things, he learned new things and now he was just watching Raidou happily eating his meal heartily with that happy glow in his dark eyes.

Yes, Genma was one _very_ happy Jounin.

Raidou may have never realized it but when he was genuinely happy, he looked like a small child who received his first toy car or stuffed toy. There would be that glowing glint in Raidou's eyes and a barely visible flush on his cheeks. The other man's face would just light up that one would think that he just had a birthday or got laid or something. Only Genma noticed these slight changes and others would too if they looked _really_ close. Other than the fact that Raidou looked just about the very epitome of cute and pretty while chewing on his noodles, he still looked like the ideal shinobi. His face was trained to not show emotions. Not even the burnt scars made the other man hideous. In fact, it looked heroic, honorable and defined how he was a true shinobi.

"Genma?" Raidou said, reaching out for some spring rolls.

"Yeah?" Genma blinked, a goofy smile on his face as he stared lovingly at Raidou. Genma knew of his growing crush and love for his friend and other noticed it as well. Raidou may have disregarded his actions as a sign of close and deep understanding friendship, but Genma really fell for him.

Hard.

"Will you stop staring like I'm an ice cream? I'm trying to eat here." Raidou mumbled, taking a huge bite off his spring roll and chewing fast.

"Sorry." Genma mumbled and went back to staring.

"You're doing it again!" Raidou kicked Genma's foot.

"I can't help it." Genma said, admitting it, not the least bit perturbed by the kick. Hell, he didn't even feel it. "You're just too cute to look at."

Raidou was a bit touchy when it came to relationships because he never really had a stable and long one. So naturally, he scowled. "Stop it."

Genma listened this time, but not entirely. "One more order of sweet and sour shrimps please!" He said to the waiter before turning and smiling at Raidou, who now doubled the speed of clearing the contents of their table. Genma smiled one more time, a bit sad, and turned to look towards the kitchen area of the restaurant instead.

Genma thought and thought, wondering if Raidou was really rejecting him or if he was just playing around. He didn't want to be rejected and Genma doubted that their friendship would ever be the same after he expanded those acronyms. By the heavens, he didn't want to lose Raidou. That would just kill him – metaphorically speaking. Genma was so busy thinking of rejection that he didn't notice how his whole face seemed to have fallen and gone dark with nervousness and angst.

"Genma?" Raidou called out, poking his arm.

"Hmm?" Genma turned to find Raidou stuffing the change in to his pocket. Every plate on the table was clean.

"I'm done." Raidou said, and grinned.

"Oh, great. You don't feel like keeling over anymore?" Genma asked. He even forgot – due to his dark thoughts – that he was the one who was supposed to pay for the meal instead of Raidou. It was after all Genma's treat.

"No."

"Good." Genma nodded standing up. "Come on. I'll walk you home."

Raidou could only nod.

XXX

Walking quietly beside each other was not a rare occurrence. But at the moment, it felt strange, like they were kids again and didn't know each other that well. Raidou for one was not feeling all happy about the setting. Genma looked like he just lost something big and important and it probably would have been the case if Raidou was too pig-headed.

Which, thank heavens, Raidou was not.

So being the great and nice guy and friend that he was, Raidou decided to strike a conversation. "So umm – know any good vet for Fish?"

Genma looked thoughtful. "There's a vet two blocks away from where I live that was apparently good. I can ask for an appointment? He apparently took care of one of Kakashi's nin dogs years ago when they broke a leg or something. Does magic with charka apparently."

"He can cure Fish's eye?" Raidou asked, hopeful.

"He took care of a nin dog's broken leg. He can fix Fish's eye I guess." Genma smiled at him, but it looked a bit strained. Raidou grinned at that and continued walking, not knowing what else to say. Genma smiled fondly. "I remembered Iggy-chan and how you cried like hell when he died."

"He was a good pet!" Raidou argued, scowling a bit. "You were the one who would let go of his little tomb stone when you found out."

Genma laughed. "He was a good Iguana."

"I miss Iggy-chan." Raidou said sadly, just as they reached his doorstep.

"You've got Fish now. You're not alone?" Genma said unsurely. "Besides, I'm here too."

Raidou stared at the Genma for a while, a slow cute blush worming its way to the man's cheeks. "You meant it, right?"

"Which part? Being there for you?" Genma blinked, but looked serious.

"That and the PHAT bit." Raidou asked. "I don't like being played with."

Genma rolled his eyes and ushered Raidou inside the small apartment. Just as Genma closed the door, he leaned against it and pulled Raidou against him. "I would never toy with your feelings. You just jumped in to conclusions, that's all. But even then, I love you."

Raidou buried his face in to Genma's chest. "You wouldn't leave me?"

"No. I wouldn't." Genma didn't want to say never because being a shinobi simply didn't allow such promises to be kept. "As much as I can _not_ leave you."

Raidou got the hidden meaning and nodded. "I'll try to be good?"

Genma cupped Raidou's face with his hands and shook his head. "Just be yourself. That's all."

With that said, Genma kissed his best friend for the first time.

XXX

Raidou dropped the diet and the entire morning workout on the whole. Genma somehow reassured him that he was good the way he looked and that no amount of fat or bones would make him less attractive. Raidou did notice a few changes around him after he and Genma officially declared to themselves that they were best friends and lovers a few days later. For one, Raidou noticed how Kakashi seemed to smirk and chuckle in their general direction whenever they were together either doing paper work or submitting missions. It was a normal thing to see them together, but Kakashi _knew_ what was going on – along with Asuma and Gai. So his life was pretty much back to normal save for a small change. Raidou didn't mind 'change' because he liked a little spark in his life once in a while.

Raidou turned to look at his sleeping lover beside him, naked as the day he was born and looking utterly peaceful. Raidou randomly decided to be playful and tickled Genma awake.

"Nice wake up call." Genma mumbled, staring blearily at Raidou with a chuckle.

"Good morning!" Raidou said in a chipper manner that he _only_ does around Genma.

Genma smiled, closing his eyes. "Morning'." He stood up and scrambled on top of Raidou, just straddling him in a perfect fit sort of way. "Every morning is a work out itself. You wouldn't have to worry about gaining weight." Raidou cheekily grinned. "And the fact that all you eat in the evening is burned by our love making!" Genma said the word _love making_ in a drawling, teasing manner. "You're even better on top!"

"You just like to be taken." Raidou whispered, running a finger teasingly down Genma's toned chest.

"By you." Genma whispered, leaning down to nuzzle on Raidou's ear. "Just by you, Raidou-CHAN!" Raidou blushed brightly. "And this time, please don't hold back. Don't give a damn what the neighbors say." Genma shifted and began to finger Raidou's entrance. "Just do your thing. Scream if you want to."

Raidou panted, feeling hot all of a sudden. "Genma." He moaned.

Genma shook his head, a fond grin on his face. "God I love you."

That was all it took for Raidou to be happy and vice versa. Their lives pretty much gained a little spark than it normally had and this time, Raidou mused as Genma pushed himself inside him, eliciting a cry out of Raidou (and a pretty loud one that the people next door fell silent), it wasn't just once in a while. Raidou had a gut feeling that it was going to stay for quite some time. Frankly, he didn't mind.

He loved the change because he _loved_ Genma.

As Raidou cried in release, joined later on by Genma, somewhere in the living room, Fish swam around in flips in his little fishbowl, both eyes completely healed, just like brand new.

FIN

Mwahahahahahahahaaaa!

This fic has a moral lesson/s:

Crash-dieting is BAD!

Don't jump to conclusions

Be DIRECT!

I wrote this fic because – actually I have no clue why. It just popped in to my head and I do know the feeling of going on a crash diet and it's NOT nice. I do know what happens to people who do the kind of stuff Raidou did in this fic and really, it's NOT nice.

No flames. This was a whole new study of Genma and Raidou. I'm testing out different possible ways of thinking of different shinobis under all the don't-show-emotion façade.

So yeah, hope you guys liked it! Self checked etc. so pardon mistakes I might have missed.


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